The Chase

“Purity of heart is to will one thing.” -Søren Kierkegaard

Throughout life, distractions seem to loom like an unwelcome, inescapable fragrance. Every soul is constantly craving and pursuing something. Great amounts of time and energy are spent on that which cannot outlive the thinker or the doer. We wonder a lot about tomorrow. We wonder a lot about yesterday. True wonder ends up quenched by synthetic wonder, (like a stomach too full of Twinkies to enjoy a tasty home grown meal). We gnaw on whatever is in sight, emotionally, physically and spiritually. The thoughts living in our minds find their source in emotion or opinion instead of truth. We run nonstop in search of approval, satisfaction, position, success and significance. Our days are spent chasing blindly after wind.

When will we learn to breathe again? When will be slow down again? When will we look for our Father’s eyes again? When will look up and sense the magnificence of it all again; the miracle of life and the gift of love. The broken made beautiful life here, and the perfect, permanent life to come?

The Treasure held within us is a mystery, yet a Person who makes Himself knowable. He gives us the chance to pursue and behold Him. He designed existence to be one great, glorious chase.

Who doesn’t want to be sought out and fought for? Who doesn’t want to be fully known and fully accepted? Does it not make sense that Christ wants us to seek Him? For in the seeking of Him we learn who we truly are. Remaining stagnant in our chase after God confuses the lens out of which we see those around us and the person in the mirror. And all the while we seemingly forget who we are because we cannot recall who He is.

Our chase after the hearts of others becomes a fearful thing rather than a freeing thing. Our chase after God seems to lack passion and depth. There are times in my life where I have become afraid of vulnerability, risk, and pain. In regards to this, C.S. Lewis once said, “To love is to be vulnerable.” It is certainly vulnerable to love God and others. It’s frightening to trust He who is unseen and others who are seen. It’s dangerous to chase after the heart of Yahweh, to have bursting affection and unquenchable desire for Him, and yet it’s far more dangerous to remain lackadaisical and withdrawn, filled to the brim with lesser things and falling prey to the numbing, destructive pleasantries of the adversary.

So I ask you, dear reader, what is it you are chasing?

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” Matthew 5:8

Know the Truth

John 8:31-32 says, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

I dare you… live in God today. Dwell in Him. Go where He asks. Listen for His whisper. Obey. Ask Him for things. Big or small. Do not doubt. Do not whine. Do not bicker. Be stable, steadfast, fully pleasing to Him.

Oh that we might break free from the confined religious box in which we all willfully lock ourselves in. There is much freedom to behold if we would only choose to seek Him and know Him (truly).

Let’s just think about that for a moment… the sheer blessing and wonder of seeking GOD. knowing GOD. He is so much more than this facade we have all fallen into that He can only be found and enjoyed if we have ‘good coffee’ or ‘a nice aura of warm light in the early morning before the eyelids of the dawn peer open’…(or maybe that’s just me). Comfortable music and comfortable people, easy living and a tight grip on “our belongings” and “our plans” (that really aren’t ours anyway…) are a treacherous path toward “freedom" that will plunge us down into a stagnant pit like Smeagol trying to salvage his ‘precious ring’ as he falls into the river of lava on Mordor. Our comforts, feelings, habits, ways of religion, etc have a tendency to become our gods rather than Jesus Christ. He is forever gracious to us, however and He knows that we are dust… falling into the adoration of the blessing, the temporary, the tangible, the feeling, rather than the Blesser, the Everlasting One, the Invisible God, the Truth.

We have the inexpressible gift of dwelling and hiding in Jesus every moment of everyday. The Pearl of great price. The One who came to this exact earth that we are miraculously dwelling on right in this moment. The One who created this miraculous planet and galaxy that we find ourselves on. The One who upholds all things by the word of His power. The One who is perfect in all His ways and is Himself the essence of purity, righteousness, goodness, justice, meekness, humility, love, holiness and infinitely more. The One who has been here before the beginning of time. The One who invented and crafted each of our fingerprints. The One who paints the skies. The One who has illogically placed Himself within those who receive Him as LORD to indwell and be found in Him for eternity. The One who was rejected by His own family for a three decades. The One who was rejected by those He came to show His relentless love and compassion for, (and is still experiencing that rejection currently). The One who disciplines, refines, and prunes those who are His (in love). The One who did immensely more than any one of us could ever try and dream up that we won’t be able to fit in our foggy, finite brains until we are face to face with Jesus (which will happen in probably a few decades, mind you). The One who breathes life into the lifeless. The One who left the tomb, (grinning the most beautiful grin the world could ever fathom, I presume). The One who is coming back to make right was has been made wrong. The One who gives purpose to my moments… who counted me worth it to love… who counted you, dear reader, worthy to love (so much so that He drank the wrath of the Living God for us). I could go on and on and on.

May we never lose our wonder.

Once again, John 8:31-32 says, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Emphasis on “KNOW,” for in knowing, we are beholding, possessing knowledge in “personal experience.“ Do we truly “know” (ginōskō)

or do we just merely feel? While feeling is not all bad, fickle feeling leads us into doubt and doubt hinders us from faith and stability in the Truth.

James 1:5-8, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”

Perhaps this is the reason for our inconsistency and doubt? Could this be the reason for our lack of experiencing Him for ourselves and falling into laziness and disregard for the pursuit after Him due to the easy ride on the passions, spiritual experiences, visions, and dreams of others? It reminds me of Marlin riding the EAC in “Finding Nemo,” ”Just hop on the ride and you won’t have to exert any energy or force… just ride the waves bro!!!” Mindless meandering.  (Of which I have certainly fallen as prey).

But isn’t He worth the pursuit? Isn’t He worth studying, memorizing, treasuring, relentlessly chasing, listening to, talking to, waking up early for, fasting for, etc etc etc. Isn’t He worth KNOWING?

He is. He is worth it all. He is worth having faith in. He is worth believing in. He is worth abiding in, dwelling in, living in, and living for. We are at home with Him anywhere. If we choose to dwell in the shelter of the Most High, we will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. If we choose to dwell in the shelter of circumstances, people and feeling, we will abide in the shadow of doubt, instability, conflicting passions, misguided desires, anxiety, envy, purposelessness, (and much else).

I dare you…once again to remain, abide, dwell in YAHWEH. The unshakable One. Pitch your tent… anchor yourself in Him. Be not like a doubter who is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. Ask the generous One to give you wisdom. He is a good Father, Friend, Beloved.

Let me remind our souls yet again, that He actually is who He says He is. He can do all that He says He can do. You are who He says you are. He sees you. He knows you. May we not rob ourselves of knowing the Truth and beholding the freedom that is Jesus.

PS: We can do nothing without Him anyway… so we mustn’t forget that. Jesus says in John 15:5, “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” 

(Hence the importance of abiding, dwelling, KNOWing). It’s all a gloriously intricate and wonderfully simple all at the same time.

“I AM THAT I AM”

Take a Deep Breath

There are many things that have distracted me today. I’m not eager to write out what actually goes on inside me sometimes because I’d rather you all think highly of me instead of realizing I’m a human being. Nevertheless, here lies the struggle of Hannah on April 29, 2016 in effort to kill her pride. I hope it points you to Jesus!

Today, concerns flood through the corners of my heart like water shooting out of geyser. Upon the first few moments of waking, I am reminded of duties left undone, letters left unfinished, dreams that I have yet to match with action, stories I have yet to write, pictures left to edit, studies that need preparing, goals that need accomplishing, depths of my God to dive into, lessons that need some learning, ideas that need birthing… and the list goes on and on and on. Are you exhausted yet? In reading what I have just written, I can honestly say that each one of those categories have individually and obnoxiously knocked on the doors of my attention all morning long… and it’s only NOON for crying out loud. This doesn’t sit well with me… and I’m glad it doesn’t. This isn’t what I was created for. I don’t want to get comfortable with anxious and overwhelming thoughts… they are not welcome to make their home in me, yet they seem to always be trying take up residence. They strive to overtake every nook and cranny of my mind and cover all the windows and walls with their loud, obnoxious and unsettling decor. They remind me of the nasty Mucus on those Mucinex commercials. Loud and unkempt, fit for a home of a peasant, but rejected by a palace of royals.

Anxious thoughts can be likened to that Mucus man. They aren’t welcome, yet they exist to convince you that they belong. I’ve only just begun to experience this as I’ve entered the “real world” recently. Life has gotten busy, duties are piling up, to-do list is always growing, and soon enough, tranquility is squandered by anxiety. Anxiety about the past, anxiety about the future, anxiety about anxiety. (LOL. Isn’t it comical though?) Before you realize what is happening, the day is robbed by inward restlessness the cycle begins again when the morning comes. And little by little, perspective shrinks, imagination dies, the heart grows colder, and you replace the warmth, peace, freedom, friendship and Presence of the fierce and untamed Almighty God for a narrow, smelly, hurried, petty perspective of yourself. What an exchange, huh?! I can see the foolishness of it plain as day when I write it out, yet in the dark corners of my mind where the Tazmanian devil runs aloof if not resisted, the garden in my heart where Yahweh continually dwells seems clogged by twigs, leaves, and tumbleweeds; seemingly unattainable and unreachable. The intoxicating song of my Love is replaced by hundreds of other songs (that sound more like screamo), and I am given the choice of with whom I shall sing along.

It’s too easy to shout along with other songs! They are the loudest in all the world. Mainstream and familiar are they, but the tune isn’t pleasing to my ears. The song hummed by the Composer of the Universe, however… that’s the Song I want to sing along to. Immanuel is the Conductor I want to take my cues from. He tells you and me to fix our eyes on Him (Hebrews 3:1), to set our minds on things above (Colossians 3:2), to keep our thoughts fixed on Him (Isaiah 26:3)… It seems He gives pretty clear instruction to us to spare us from the life would otherwise live. I’m frustrated that this blessed reality is just an afterthought at times! We have the greatest Gift fathomable, yet sometimes we allow the power of the awareness of this to be robbed by our busyness as well as our ache to accomplish and be accomplished. We forget our identity. We live from a place of “not yet” instead of “being HIS.” May it be increasingly difficult to forget that He is WITH US. And not simply (yet miraculously) with us, but He WANTS TO BE. HE delights to be near us. I think that is what changes things.

I am madly convinced that the more aware we are of His nearness, the more we supernaturally accept the reality that we “couldn’t be one bit better” in His eyes, the more we live from a place of indefatigable (<— click on it ;) ) adoring, divine love, the more the Kingdom will grow in our hearts and through our lives. Our responsibilities may increase, our to-do lists may be long, but the peace of God will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus and we will be filled to the brim with Life. We will wrestle to rest. We will cast our cares on Him because we know He cares for us. Our deepest longing is to be loved, and by His grace, we are loved by Him. I wish I could come up with the right words to replace the familiarity about that statement with the ferocious, outlandish, altogether transformational and wonderful truth that it is. I wish I could reignite the passion in your heart for the Living God. I cannot, but the Spirit can. Just ask Him to. He loves to turn His ears to us. He takes pleasure in satisfying our hunger with the finest of Food.

So breathe. Live in the world that is Yahweh. That is our goal for each moment.

A man I admire, by the name of Brother Lawrence once said, “The King, full of mercy and goodness, very far from chastising me, embraces me with love, makes me eat at His table, serves me with His own hands, gives me the key of His treasures; He converses and delights Himself with me incessantly, in a thousand and a thousand ways, and treats me in all respects as His favorite. It is thus I consider myself from time to time in His holy presence.”

The following verses are both Zephaniah 3:17 in different translations. (NLT + AMP). Meditate on this verse and let it pierce your heart in the best way.

“For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.””

“The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior [Who saves]! He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest [in silent satisfaction] and in His love He will be silent and make no mention [of past sins, or even recall them]; He will exult over you with singing.”